Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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