I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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