giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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