Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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