do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize