We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
