I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
