i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
