No stitches, just platelets and will power
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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