hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
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