WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
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Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
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I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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