An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
worst night to have a conscience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
3 2 1 whiskey
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize