PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Randomize
