Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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