i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
