I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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