can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
