She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
