Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
