He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
My breasts were aching with rage.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize