Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
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Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
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I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
its liver damage thursday
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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