i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
