My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Randomize
