it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize