I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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