I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
