yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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