My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
