This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Randomize
