I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Randomize
