he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize
