He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I came so hard my ears popped.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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