Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
