wrigley field is MILF paradise
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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