she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
