Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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