I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
