I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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