This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
