if you like me you must not know who I am
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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