doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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