I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
