Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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