Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
