Im at strip club and am horny
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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