You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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