i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize