my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
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