Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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