I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
