normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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