I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
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