I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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