I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
