let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
